The Louder The Monkey, The Smaller His Balls

Howler monkeys are the loudest land animals on Earth, capable of eardrum-shattering volumes of 140 decibels (that's like a jet engine at takeoff). Not surprisingly, male howler monkeys frequently use this power to advertise their sexual fitness, catcalling females with their ear-splitting roars.

(MY BALLS ARE SO SMALL! HEAR MY ROAR!!!)

However, in a shockingly funny twist of expectations, scientists have now found that the louder the monkey’s calls, the smaller the monkey’s balls. A team based out of Cambridge University came to this conclusion by comparing the size of dozens of monkeys’ testes with the hyoid bones located in their voice boxes, which revealed a negative correlation between decibel levels and testicular endowment. The results are published today in the journal Current Biology.

I am soooo using this catch phrase, particularly as the 2016 elections come to a close. ;-)

SD